In the modern world, divorce can be an unfortunate fact of life. You are so busy juggling work, raising the kids, and dealing with the 24/7 nature of modern life, that you forget that marriages take work and effort too. Like many others, if you notice any of these signs in your relationship, you may benefit from the professional advice of a marriage counselor, who can help you to recognize and repair issues in your relationship, before it reaches breaking point.
Thinking Negative Thoughts about Your Spouse
Everyone has moments of annoyance or anger at a loved one, but when your thoughts about your partner are often, or even mostly, negative you may have a problem. Internal feelings of passive aggression that may not even be acted upon or voiced, can still lead to a build up of aggravation, and result in you viewing your spouse more as a hindrance than a partner. You may feel like you wish your spouse would change either themselves or their actions. Even if your feelings are for a valid reason, they are not conducive to a good relationship, and could be a sign that you are not communicating properly with your loved one.
Lack of Communication
Perhaps you feel like your significant other does not understand your point of view, or always takes things you say the wrong way. Some couples may even find they end up avoiding conversation in an effort to prevent arguments, especially in front of the kids. Feeling unable to bring things up is a sure sign that your communication is suffering, and this can be a serious problem in relationships. Minor issues can be blown out of proportion by assumptions of ill-intent on both sides, and if you often find yourselves not talking, or giving each other the silent treatment, then the communication skills often taught in counseling could help.
Your Lifestyles No Longer Seem Compatible
People change and grow as they get older, and hopefully their loved ones go through these same changes with them. Problems can arise when couples mature at different rates, or find themselves with differing priorities at certain stages of life. Your partner may be focused on working in a corporate environment, and building their career, while you are looking to expand your family or concentrate on matters within the home. These opposing aims can create conflict and tension within your marriage.
A common lifestyle issue with couples is financial responsibility, particularly when one partner is the breadwinner, and ideas on finances are different. Parenting also raises significant challenges and can lead to a non-unified feeling between spouses. With lifestyle issues, making sure appointments fit into your schedules is vital. Some counselors even provide marriage counseling online, which can be extremely useful.
Conclusion
Counselors are professionals, who can help to guide couples through their problems, and teach them the communication and coping techniques to mend frayed relationships before they snap. It is not a quick fix, and in some cases counseling may not be a fix at all, but if you notice any of these issues in your marriage, it is definitely something you can look into to help give your relationship a fighting chance.
Tammie~